Episode 6

From Paris to Atlanta: What If?

"What if?" is right up there with "Why?" as far as a question that has no real answers and honestly isn't worth asking to begin with unless discussing alternative realities and timelines in comic books. But that has never stopped anyone from asking this of themselves, especially when it comes to love and romance and heartbreak and failure.

A Life of Regret

What if you could do it all over again or do things differently? Would you escape failure? Would you circumvent pain? Would you still be married? Would you be better at dating? Would you be happier? Do you truly know that if you handled “things” whatever those things are (love, communication, your emotions) things would’ve gone any differently?

How would you know? How could you know?

How to Overcome Regret In Love, Life, and Everything Else

In Episode Six of Season Four of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, the question of “what if” comes up when I get triggered after stumbling upon an artifact from my past. What if I had handled it all differently? Would I have gotten married? Would I be dating after divorce? Would I have more children?

This episode goes deep to address:

  • Why not having an opinion can be dangerous
  • What happens when a woman can’t rely on a man
  • Why doing something is better than doing nothing
  • Why the past and all its failures and shortcomings will always be a prison if you allow it to be, and 
  • How to spin “What if?” from a question that can imprison you in regret into a personal challenge that puts you in charge of your life.


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  • Read my article, Dating In My Forties, over at Medium for free as a Friend of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. Read the article here.


If you're new to this podcast:

Thank you for visiting and I hope you'll stay awhile! The best place to begin here is all the way that the beginning, Season One, Episode One. That way you won't feel the way I do when I get to a party a little late and everyone there is acting like they're best friends.

Resources from the Episode : 

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

About the Podcast

Show artwork for The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a serial podcast that thoughtfully and hilariously narrates the journey of fatherhood blogger Eric Payne as he navigates the challenges of "starting over" after divorce.

About your host

Profile picture for Eric Payne

Eric Payne

I got divorced in 2015. Afterward, I wandered around a lost, emotional mess. Men have feelings too! I created The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide to provide a path to emotional well-being that I never received and to tell the truth — men are just as scared as women (maybe more) when it comes to rejection and failing at love. But like me, if you're willing to dig deep, work hard on yourself, and not play the blame game you can turn divorce into a springboard to discover yourself, discover joy, and maybe find love again or maybe for the first time.

I'm Chicago-born, New York City-bred, and currently residing in Atlanta. A marketing and advertising guy most of my adult life, a writer since the second grade, and a storyteller since before even then, I've published two books of poetry, a parenting book, and the groundbreaking fatherhood and marriage blog, MakesMeWannaHoller.com. I have no problem laughing at myself and sharing the lessons my failures have taught me. I believe in superheroes, practice gratitude every chance I get and annoy my kids by being a super-loving father.