Episode 4

People Pleasing, Being Alone and Living In Denial

Moving right along from Episode 3 and just in time for Valentine's Day (if you haven't listened to it start there, actually just start at Season 1 because this is a story, not a podcast made up of standalone episodes)! It's the holidays and yours truly, Eric Payne, The Divorced Dillinger, travels home to visit the family! Before it's all over I will have eaten my way through Chicago, connected with old friends, weighed in polygamy, and held court with a trio of prayer warriors. See below for the episode acts and topics and their timestamps:

(03:47) Act 1: Dealing With Rejection

  • How rejection can manifest negatively in your life such as imposter syndrome
  • A better way to view rejection and use it as a springboard for success

(10:18) Act 2: The Power of Being Alone

  • Using solitude to your advantage
  • Understanding the paradox of people-pleasing and ways to go about breaking the codependent need to please others
  • and why you should

(15:10) Acts 3 & 4: Acceptance is a Hell of a Drug

  • Reconnecting with old friends over the miles and the years
  • The damage and dangers of living in denial and keeping secrets a.k.a. ignoring the truth
  • The power of being present, accepting your circumstances for what they are, and what this means


Resources from the Episode : 

This episode's poem, As the Drip Drops, can be found here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Some episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats

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About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide
The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a serial podcast that thoughtfully and hilariously narrates the journey of fatherhood blogger Eric Payne as he navigates the challenges of "starting over" after divorce.

About your host

Profile picture for Eric Payne

Eric Payne

I got divorced in 2015. Afterward, I wandered around a lost, emotional mess. Men have feelings too! I created The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide to provide a path to emotional well-being that I never received and to tell the truth — men are just as scared as women (maybe more) when it comes to rejection and failing at love. But like me, if you're willing to dig deep, work hard on yourself, and not play the blame game you can turn divorce into a springboard to discover yourself, discover joy, and maybe find love again or maybe for the first time.

I'm Chicago-born, New York City-bred, and currently residing in Atlanta. A marketing and advertising guy most of my adult life, a writer since the second grade, and a storyteller since before even then, I've published two books of poetry, a parenting book, and the groundbreaking fatherhood and marriage blog, MakesMeWannaHoller.com. I have no problem laughing at myself and sharing the lessons my failures have taught me. I believe in superheroes, practice gratitude every chance I get and annoy my kids by being a super-loving father.